Wordsmith Lane

YOUR FORMAL MAG: Divas, Dates or Dancing: What makes your formal?

Appeared in: Your Formal Magazine, Issue 4, 2007

Copyright, Sarah Ayoub, 2007

She ditched the concept of a formal date and ignored the bitchy gossip, and Sarah Ayoub had the time of her life. Here, she tells you why your formal shouldn’t be about anyone (or anything!) but yourself…

Your formal is undoubtedly one of the biggest nights of your life. Not only does it signal the end of the year (and the end of exams and assessments), but it is also a chance to get dressed up, have fun and enjoy the time with your classmates in a night that’s all about you.

Unfortunately, there is plenty of (often chaotic) primping that goes into preparing for your big night. You have to worry about your hair, make up and outfit, what car you’ll be travelling in, and who you’re going to take. Toss in the added worry of what everyone else will be wearing (because there’s a nosy jealous girl inside us all) and the interference of your parents (what time you will be home, who you will be going with, let’s show him your baby album) and your formal can turn into a recipe for disaster.

It may seem simple, but the best way to avoid the said disaster is if you don’t stress. Take it from someone who knows, because I spent so much time, money and energy worrying about my year 10 formal that I didn’t really have a good time. So when year 12 rolled around, I put half the effort in, went on my own and had a blast. I can honestly say it was one of the best nights of my life, and in case you’re wondering, I didn’t sit down for a single song!

Unfortunately some of my friends couldn’t share in my joy, because they were stuck on a table coercing their partners to dance, or because their dress was too short or revealing that they were afraid to move in it.

But I didn’t want any regrets about my last dance ever, so if you feel the same, my message is clear: No matter what those girly mags tell you, your formal is not about the dress, or the makeup, or the date. It’s only about you. So if you put so much effort trying to make it a perfect night, it won’t be. Just relax and enjoy it for what it is: A night out with your mates!

And if you do have a date, make sure you take someone who doesn’t need you to be there to carry on a conversation with someone else, or preferably someone that already knows your friends. The last thing you want is to be babysitting him when you really want to be on the dance floor taking candid shots with your friends!

What I am trying to say is comfort, ladies, comfort! Do what makes you happy, because there’s no take two half the time. It’s going to be a late night, and putting too much pressure on it isn’t going to get you results. You can turn into a complete perfection freak at your wedding (I don’t recall there being a show called ‘formalzilla’, but there’s an interesting concept!).

So pick a dress that screams your personality, have a fun afternoon primping with your girlfriends, and let mum and dad get excited with the camera. Their little girl is all grown up, and they want a piece of the action on her special night.The only things you have to do are smile and take it as it comes, because there’s only so much that planning will do.

Although I must admit, having some Hollywood Fashion Tape and a pair of Scholl’s Party Feet in your clutch purse can be quite handy!After all, a smile can only handle so many emergencies.

Dancing the night away? No worries!!

Girlfriend Magazine: How to: Deal with Centrelink

Published in Girlfriend, August 2007. Copyright Sarah Ayoub 2007

The girl that stood before the court never imagined that she’d face a jail term at 18. She had a stable, part-time job, was studying her dream course at uni and had just moved in with her boyfriend. But tears rolled down her face as she pondered what a guilty verdict could mean. Now that she knew what had gone wrong, she wished that she could undo the damage – but it was already done. Between the 1st of July 2004 and 30th June 2005, Centrelink convicted 3,446 Australians for welfare fraud involving around $41.2 million in debts. In many cases, those convicted suffer consequences that are more than financial. So, where do things go wrong?
“I have to pay back $3,000…” Michelle*, 18, had been receiving Youth Allowance since she started full-time study at Tafe. Towards the end of her Tafe year, Michelle stopped attending class. Her reduction in hours meant she was now classified as a part-time student, and her Centrelink payments were recalled.“One day I received a letter saying I owe Centrelink $2,900, just out of the blue. I didn’t even receive a warning”, she says. “They should let students [know]…what the outcomes are if you don’t follow them. There’s a big problem of communication at both ends”. Zara, 20, agrees. Originally ordered to pay back $7,000 worth of payments that she’d been receiving since she was 16, she’s now in the midst of a stressful court battle.“I appealed but I still had to pay back the money. Then I got summoned to court for minor fraud charges…they thought I was doing it on purpose”.

When circumstances change… Centrelink distributes over $60 million in payments of public money annually on behalf of government agencies. Like all Centrelink recipients, those receiving Youth Allowance must regularly report their taxable income and notify Centrelink when their circumstances change – whether they start work, go on an overseas holiday or move in with a partner. Centrelink’s Media Manager Paul Creedon says that Centrelink encourages students to take up simpler reporting services to ensure they avoid debt. “We have a phone and online system which makes it easier for students to access our services and change their details without actually going into a Centrelink office”, he says.But Zara feels this doesn’t help – as often they end up talking to an automated message.“I’d speak to a machine”, she says. “And [the staff] don’t reason…if they looked at my first tax return…they could have stopped it in the first year it happened”.

What to do… If you want to avoid a debt, read as much information as you can about the benefits that you’re receiving. Call or visit a Centrelink branch if there’s something you don’t understand, and ask an accountant for help. Familiarise yourself with what the changes in circumstances are (they’ll usually be listed on any Centrelink correspondence you receive) and report them within two weeks of their occurrence. Buy a diary to record the hours you worked, as well as the dates you need to report your income. Protect yourself by writing down the names of any Centrelink representatives that you talk to, and the dates you talk to them, and keep copies of all the documentation that you receive from, and provide to, Centrelink. They have a strict Fraud Control Plan to ensure the integrity of the institution is maintained.“We are the caretakers of the public purse”, says Paul. “The Australian community expects us to reclaim [the debts] and we have a responsibility to do so”.

Responsibility aside, inaccurate information provided to Centrelink will see you paying back more than just cash. Zara’s dream of teaching primary school children will be shattered if she receives a criminal record, and Michelle still doesn’t know how her debt was calculated, so she’s urging others to ask questions as the only way to receive answers.For some, Centrelink allowances are just not worth the hassle. For others, they’re a necessity. In the past few years, Centrelink has encouraged people to ‘support the system that supports you’. More than just an advertising campaign, it has become a mantra ensuring people aren’t suffering the pay-back for their mistakes for the rest of their lives.